Imposter syndrome, in my own words, is when you feel like you don’t deserve what you’re getting or doing. You feel like a fraud.
If you’re writing a book, self-doubt is always there, whispering in your ear: you are not a writer… what are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? You’ll never be a real writer.
If you have published your book and sold only a few copies, then there you go: you call yourself a writer? You are not.
You are having a lot of success, but then again, your conscious is there: you are not good enough. You don’t deserve this success. I’m sorry for you if you think you’re doing good. You’re a fraud and people will find it out soon. You are no writer.
I also suffer from this, my friends.
Sometimes I stop and think: why am I writing this blog? Am I good enough to write an article about writing? I barely know what I’m doing!
Or when I look at my Twitter description: Author.
All right, I have published a book. However, am I a real author? What makes you an author? I haven’t made it to NY Times Best Seller. After that, will I be a writer?
Self-doubt is everywhere, always.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome?
This is the real question and it’s only answered by my life motto. I literally use it ALL THE TIME:
Fake till you make it.
A friend of mine said that she hates this phrase because it seems like she is lying to herself.
However, I’ll convince you right now that there’s no such a thing.
BECAUSE: your vision of yourself is distorted.
It’s distorted by your anxiety, your fears.
Nobody notices us as much as ourselves. Nobody knows us as much. We live in our bodies literally all the time. We see every little fault. Every. Little. Mistake. Our expectations are so high. Our “perfect” imaginary standard is incredibly distorted.
Nobody cares about our mistakes as much as we do.
People will buy what you sell them.
Am I telling you to lie to other people?
I’m telling you to behave as you wish you were seen. When you do, you’ll be seen in this way.
“But I’m not like this.”
You can’t tell that, because this doesn’t exist.
You own image of yourself is not what the world is seeing.
The majority of people is too focused on themselves. And this is not wrong at all. It’s just that it’s impossible to notice other people as much as we notice ourselves. Think about your life. Do you keep looking for every little small detailed that other people do? I hope not, because this is kind of what a stalker would do.
By that I mean: other people will see you the way you present yourself to them.
This is not lying.
These standards don’t exist for real. They exist only inside our heads.
There is not the Global Chart of What Makes an Author. Point One: An author shall be those who only self-publish because traditionally publishing steals your soul. Point Two: An Author will be when He or She sells over 343 copies of their book.
It. Doesn’t. Exist.
The majority of the standards we think that “the society thinks” it’s actually ourselves thinking.
How can you say what “society” thinks? What is this society? How do you know the opinion of every one of the million people from society?
This goes to all the standards in life. “I’m too fat, nobody will like me”, and then you find someone that weights your triple and finds themselves beautiful.
It’s our own perfectionism patterns that create these standards
You and only you are deciding if you are “an author” or not.
You and only you are deciding that you’re a fraud.
It’s not “everybody”. It’s not “society”. Because it doesn’t exist. This society/everybody is a character you created to rule your mind. And it is being really mean to you.